Browsing Category: "Jokes"
A Stimulus Story
Here’s another cool little story. Remember, if you have any tax tips or questions please send us a email!
It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea . It is raining,
and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is
in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.
He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter,
and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.
The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to
the butcher.
The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig
grower.
The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the
supplier of his feed and fuel.
The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his
debt to the town’s prostitute that in these hard times, gave her “services”
on credit.
The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note
to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she
brought her clients there.
The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so
that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.
At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms,
and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the
rooms, and leaves town.
No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and
looks to the future with a lot of optimism….
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing
business today.
The Dead Donkey | Joke #2
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said “sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died”.
Chuck replied: “Well then just give me my money back”.
The farmer said: “I cant do that, I went and spent it already”.
Chuck said: “OK then, just bring me the dead donkey”.
The farmer asked: “what are you gonna do with him?
Chuck said: “I’m going to raffle him off”
The farmer replied: “you cant raffle off a dead donkey!”
Chuck replied: Sure I can. Just watch me… I just wont tell anybody he’s dead.”
A month later, the farmer met up with chuck and asked, “what happened with the dead donkey!”
Chuck said: “I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made a profit of $898.00”
The farmer asked: “did anyone complain.
Chuck said: “Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back.
Now Chuck works for the Government.
Our Tax System in Layman’s Terms | Joke #1
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing
The fifth would pay $1
The sixth would pay $3
The seventh would pay $7
The eighth would pay $12
The ninth would pay $18
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59
So, that’s what they decided to do.
The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
"Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I’m going to reduce the
cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what
about the other six men? The paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair
share?
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that
from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end
up being paid to drink his beer.
So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill
by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each
should pay:
And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings)
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings)
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings)
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings)
The ninth now paid $15 instead of $18 ( 20% savings)
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings)
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to
drink for free.
But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20", declared the sixth man. He pointed to
the tenth man,"but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that’s right", exclaimed the fifth man, "I only saved a Dollar, too.
It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!"
"That’s true!!", shouted the seventh man, "Why should he get $10 back when
I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute", yelled the first four men in unison, "We didn’t get
anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"
The nine men surrounded the tenth man and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat
down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they
discovered something important: They didn’t have enough money between all
of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and university professors, is how our
tax system works.
The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax
reduction.
Tax them too much; attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not
show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the
atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not
understand, no explanation is possible.
