Sources from various newspapers and media have revealed Bryan Pape has been shot on his way to court this morning. The intellectual scholar who is currently fighting the government in court in regards to Kevin Rudd’s $900 bonus payments was apparently eating a bacon and egg sandwich from McDonalds when he was caught by surprise by some Paper “Haters.”
Haters said, “Pape was a filthy dog, why would any man try and stop us getting money from the government. We want our $900!” The haters were quickly rounded up by police and questioned.
Unfortunately Pape did not show up for day 2 in court, and the judge ordered an end to the case and gave the all clear to start giving out $900 bonus payments again from tomorrow.
Please Note: This is a April Fools joke and did not actually happen. :)